In I’ll Pray for You and Other Outrageous Things Said to Disabled People, Hannah Setzer volunteers to go first and say the things that we all think, but rarely say. Hannah has lived her whole life as a disabled woman and is here to share her story, though don’t think for a second that this is inspiration porn. In fact, Hannah’s disability is the least interesting thing about her!
I’ll Pray for You is full of…parenting fails,
awkward stories, like that time Hannah fell down a manhole,
discovering and accepting your identity, and
fun, eye-opening real-talk from a disabled woman
Hannah is a rebellious writer, a disability rights activist, and a movement enthusiast. She’s best known as the creator of “Feeding Tube Fitness,” where she often overshares most aspects of her life. She is the owner of Hannah’s Handcrafted, a small business making and selling high quality elderberry products. She’s a big dreamer and most recently founded Growing Inclusivity, a nonprofit aiming to build an accessible playground in Virginia. She lives on a mini farm in Virginia with her husband, her partner in all things, her four boys, who are her biggest fans, and her ever growing menagerie of loyal animals. She is here to instill hope that you, too, can chase your dreams (and your chickens) if you want to. This book of essays from her life aims to do just that!
“I reread my proposal I sent to agents years ago, and I love it. I love the girl that wrote it. I’m proud of the girl that wrote it, but she’s no longer me.”
When you take dreams into your own hands, it means a lot of freedom but also a lot of trusting yourself.
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Year after year, readers pulled me aside at events and said, “I’ve never had a problem starting. I’ve started a million things, but I never finish them. Why can’t I finish?
According to studies, 92 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail. You’ve practically got a better shot at getting into Juilliard to become a ballerina than you do at finishing your goals.
For years, I thought my problem was that I didn’t try hard enough. So I started getting up earlier. I drank enough energy drinks to kill a horse. I hired a life coach and ate more superfoods. Nothing worked, although I did develop a pretty nice eyelid tremor from all the caffeine. It was like my eye was waving at you, very, very quickly.
Then, while leading a thirty-day online course to help people work on their goals, I learned something surprising: The most effective exercises were not those that pushed people to work harder. The ones that got people to the finish line did just the opposite— they took the pressure off.
Why? Because the sneakiest obstacle to meeting your goals is not laziness, but perfectionism. We’re our own worst critics, and if it looks like we’re not going to do something right, we prefer not to do it at all. That’s why we’re most likely to quit on day two, “the day after perfect”—when our results almost always underperform our aspirations.
The strategies in this book are counterintuitive and might feel like cheating. But they’re based on studies conducted by a university researcher with hundreds of participants. You might not guess that having more fun, eliminating your secret rules, and choosing something to bomb intentionally works. But the data says otherwise. People who have fun are 43 percent more successful! Imagine if your diet, guitar playing, or small business was 43 percent more successful just by following a few simple principles.
If you’re tired of being a chronic starter and want to become a consistent finisher, you have two options: You can continue to beat yourself up and try harder, since this time that will work. Or you can give yourself the gift of done.
1. When you refuse to deal in joy, you don’t quit being emotional; you just funnel all that fury somewhere else. Many a troll was born from the heartache of a goal he dared not finish. Maybe a troll is just someone who lost to perfectionism so many times that he gave up on his own goals and decided to tear down someone else’s.
2. When you make a goal, you make a promise to yourself….if you break enough promises. you start to doubt yourself.
3. Cut your goal in half.
4. Strategic Incompetence. Pick something to bomb.
5.
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The new uplifting book from Matt Haig, the New York Times bestselling author of The Midnight Library, for anyone in search of hope, looking for a path to a more meaningful life, or in need of a little encouragement.
“It is a strange paradox, that many of the clearest, most comforting life lessons are learnt while we are at our lowest. But then we never think about food more than when we are hungry and we never think about life rafts more than when we are thrown overboard.”
The Comfort Book is Haig’s life raft: it’s a collection of notes, lists, and stories written over a span of several years that originally served as gentle reminders to Haig’s future self that things are not always as dark as they may seem. Incorporating a diverse array of sources from across the world, history, science, and his own experiences, Haig offers warmth and reassurance, reminding us to slow down and appreciate the beauty and unpredictability of existence.
“The sky isn’t more beautiful if you have perfect skin. Music doesn’t sound more interesting if you have a six-pack. Dogs aren’t better company if you’re famous. P izza tastes good regardless of your job title. The best of life exists beyond the things we are encouraged to crave.”
1. “I used to worry about fitting in until I realized the reason I didn’t fit in was because I didn’t want to.”
2. “Don’t envy things you wouldn’t actually want. Don’t absorb criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice. Don’t fear missing parties you would probably want to leave. Don’t worry about fitting in. Be your own tribe. Don’t argue with people who will never understand you. Don’t believe anyone has it all figured out. Don’t imagine there is an amount of money or success or fame that could insulate you from pain. Don’t think there is a type of face or job or relationship that safeguards happiness. Don’t say yes to things you wish you had the confidence to say no to. Don’t worry if you do.”
3. “Words don’t capture, they release.”
4. “When things go dark, we can’t see what we have. That doesn’t mean that we don’t have those things. Those things remain, right in front of us. All we need is to light a candle, or ignite some hope, and we can see that what we thought was lost was merely hidden.”
5. “Forgiving other people is great practice for forgiving yourself when the time comes.”
6. “As the great writer Anne Lamott puts it: “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”
7. “Silence is pain. But it is a pain with an exit route. When we can’t speak, we can write. When we can’t write, we can read. When we can’t read, we can listen. Words are seeds. Language is a way back to life. And it is sometimes the most vital comfort we have.”
“As the great writer Anne Lamott puts it: “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”
“Silence is pain. But it is a pain with an exit route. When we can’t speak, we can write. When we can’t write, we can read. When we can’t read, we can listen. Words are seeds. Language is a way back to life. And it is sometimes the most vital comfort we have.”
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As a Virginia Commonwealth University student, I often found change uncomfortable, especially as I am wrapping up my academic career. These moments of transition can lead to unexpected opportunities and help in clarifying your career aspirations – in my case an internship that has shown me what I am interested in.
When considering my next steps in pursuit of a career path, I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to do. Sounds relatable right? When I was searching for internships, my strategy was to be open to a wide array of opportunities, even those slightly outside my main area of interest. What I looked for most was hands-on experience, as I found this more beneficial than virtual positions.
Luckily, an opportunity presented itself when I received an email about open leadership positions in the Public Relations Student Society of America at VCU. Joining PRSSA and immersing myself in it, spending more time meeting new people and making connections, was a crucial step. It was through my active participation in PRSSA that I came across the internship opportunity with Tiramisu for Breakfast. I realized that if I hadn’t joined, I wouldn’t be in the position I am in now and you wouldn’t be reading this.
When I walked into the Tiramisu for Breakfast office for the first time, I was immediately struck by its energy. There was a lot happening in the space, and I found myself enjoying the process of observing and taking it all in. It was fascinating because the office seemed to reflect Christina’s personality. Right from the start, I could sense that she’s a creative, spontaneous go getter. The layout and decor of the office communicated that vividly. Sitting down and speaking with Christina, I appreciated the casual yet expressive manner in which she communicated. It felt welcoming and engaging, and it set a comfortable tone for our interaction.
Looking back on the week, I attended the VMFA Art Exhibition Media Review for Dawoud Bey’s “Elegy” with Christina. I see now that it was much more than just another event. Roaming through the exhibition and seeing those impactful artworks, I wasn’t just taking in the art; I was also picking up on the subtleties of how media and public relations play out in these environments.
In my first week at the internship, I really got a grip on some key public relations and marketing concepts. I started off by diving into TFB brand guidelines, along with checking out big names like Coca-Cola to keep their branding sharp and consistent. Then, I wrapped my head around the differences between owned, earned, and paid media. Essentially, owned media refers to the channels we manage ourselves, like our own websites and blogs. Paid media is all about investing in ads on platforms like Facebook or Twitter. And earned media? That’s the awesome, free exposure we gain when our content gets shared by others. I also picked up on how payment works in agencies, which typically happens after a contract gets inked, following our proposal submissions. Something new to me was the concept of “spec work,” which is working without guaranteed pay, mostly for pitches. And finally, I got to know about Gantt charts, which are super helpful for keeping track of what needs to get done in a project. All in all, this week was jam-packed with learning, giving me a solid start in understanding the nuts and bolts of brand management, media strategies, and the nitty-gritty of client-agency relationships and project planning.
During my internship, my primary goals are to gain a diverse skill set. This doesn’t exclusively include the specific tasks I was assigned, but also involved observing and learning from the overall operations of the TFB workplace. It was important for me to bring new ideas, consistent effort, and fresh energy to the office.
I am grateful to gain more confidence and clarity regarding my future career path. I wanted the experience to help me feel comfortable in professional settings and more certain about my career choices. Juggling academic responsibilities, work commitments, and personal life was challenging, but it was crucial for my professional development. Most importantly, excited to grow alongside Christina!
Motto of the Week: Be Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
Read MoreI’m trying to find the recording to share.
Some of my favorite bits from my notes (from what I could read of my handwriting 🤪) The book is “Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness.”
I thought I was prepared because I downloaded the audiobook ahead of the event so I’d know what everyone was talking about… until I got there and it turns out the book is a GRAPHIC novel. Lolol My takeaways:
“Before reading this, I would have told you that lol I was is an issue that comes form outside. I’m not realizing that j have a responsibility in my Lo lines to test vulnerability and authenticity.”
“I don’t think we have an epidemic of loneliness. I think we have an epidemic of a lack of vulnerability and intimacy.”
“We are wired as humans for empathy and connection. How do we return to that?”
“We all get lonely, and in that we are not alone.”
“The longer we are lonely, the harder it is to reconnect.”
“To create community, we need to have a low bar for entry and a high bar for conduct.” 🙌🏻👏🏻
In the q&a, I asked what industries need this message the most. They said policy makers and the media.
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My hope for humanity is that we can all find something to love as much as this man on NextDoor loves the Carytown Publix.
I love ArtButMakeItSports on X so much.
We now have TFB tees and sweatshirts in black!
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When Malcolm asked me what I wish I knew in my last decade, my mind immediately went to my disappointment in discovering that there is not, in fact, a period of time after acne and before wrinkles; they actually overlap.
Thank you thank you thank you to Malcolm Venable for inviting me to be a part of this article for Shondaland!!!
Not only was it an honor to be included but even if no one else ever saw it, the greatest gift was being prompted to reflect on this!Here’s the section I contributed, but click through to Shondaland.com to read the full article! “Your 30s are different from your 20s! I’m surprised by that. I thought it was just: You are a kid, and then you are an adult. I never thought about how almost all of your life is spent as an adult, and there are so many stages. I look back on the last decade with rose-colored glasses. I kind of wish 30s me could give advice to 20s me. I look back and see myself as brave and generous and creative and kind.
I wish I’d known that my positive attitude was my greatest asset and that I should do everything I could to protect it. I wish I’d known how transient people’s roles in my life were and are. People change jobs, people break up, people grow and change. Someone might be your boss or client one day, and you feel so much pressure to impress them, but then you get in a situation where you’re positioned more as an equal and a friend, and you see them differently. They’re just a person like you and everyone else.
Maya Angelou said, “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” Teaching a university class and starting a business in my 20s taught me that my voice has power and that speaking up for what’s right makes other women feel like they have permission to do the same.
I wish I’d known that laser hair removal (and really any beauty treatment that’s going to save me time) is worth it. I wish I’d known to have a default nail color. Just get a ballerina gown dip polish every time. I wish I’d known that I could just get the car I wanted instead of feeling unhappy and self-conscious about driving an old, messy car. I love my little black Buick SUV with beige leather seats. I wish I’d known to spend my money and time on facials and exercise instead of listening to the women at the makeup counters trying to sell me something.
I wish I’d known that I can be the person who goes to early morning exercise classes. I didn’t see the point in waking up early, but I now see those hours as a gift to myself. I wish I’d known that procrastination is not laziness. I needed to look deeper to find the issue instead of blaming it on myself. Was I missing resources? Did I need help from someone or more information? I wish I’d thought without judgment about what was keeping me from doing what I wanted or needed to do.
I wish I’d known that if I didn’t want to be around someone, it didn’t make me a bad person. There was probably a reason something felt off, and it’s fine to trust myself and my instincts.
I wish I’d known that when I can’t stop thinking about something, I should just take action. It’s totally fixable if I make a mistake or regret my decision, but it’s a waste of time to ruminate. I don’t need to feel guilty about really leaning into doing things I love and indulging because it gets harder and harder to get in touch with what you want at your core. It’s not selfish to do what you want; that’s actually what really should be guiding you through life. As generic and clichéd as it seems, being yourself really is the ultimate goal.
I wish I’d known to go see Britney Spears in concert. It doesn’t matter how much it would have cost. I could have figured that part out.” Read More
